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In the comments here, Fausty links to the Chinese method of silencing dissent. Those who don't like the way things are run must be mad, because those in charge are always right. Therefore, anyone who disagrees with the Righteous must be locked away and sedated before they hurt themselves or others. It's a technique that has worked well in many a totalitarian regime, but this is Britain. It couldn't possibly happen here.

As Fausty points out, it can happen here all too easily now, with the 'Fixated Threat Assessment Centre' and don't ask me to untangle what the hell that title means. Just call them 'Gestapo'.  It is an unholy alliance between the police and the NHS (and we know just how caring they are, judging by what they want to do to smokers) which serves only one purpose.

Suppose the police want to lock you up but are hampered by the inconvenient detail that you haven't actually broken any laws. In the old days they'd have to dig out an old case, something that happened while you were in the same town, and spend a lot of time and effort fitting up the evidence to make it look as near-enough as possible that you did it. Even then, they'd have to convince a jury so it was a bit hit and miss. All that effort could be wasted.

In this modern world of 24/7 and burgers you can microwave in 60 seconds (I tried one. Don't) and the need to do absolutely everything as fast as possible with as little effort as possible, the old method is just too tiresome. There must be an easier way to get undesirables off the streets without all that messing about with evidence and trials and juries and so on, and without having to wait for them to do something they can be arrested for in the first place.

Enter the Fixated Threat Assessment Centre. All they need do is tell two doctors to declare that you're as mad as a bag of badgers and off you go to the rubber room to play Napoleon. Don't protest too much or they'll charge you in a different way. With a couple of thousand volts (and at today's prices, you don't want that on your medical bill). There is no appeal, you can't possibly lodge an appeal because you're mad, remember? There is no trial. No sentence. In fact, there isn't even a formal charge laid against you. You are arrested, declared even more crazy than a one-eyed Scottish phone-throwing lunatic in a suit, and locked up. That's that.

When do you get out? Ah, that's the best part. You don't.

Straight from arrest to lifetime incarceration with no intervening 'rights' nonsense. That's the modern way. Why, you don't even need to commit a crime - and just think of the paperwork the process has saved. You don't actually have to be caught talking to Eric the invisible anchovy, nor parade naked in the street shouting 'I am the walrus. Come, stroke my magic eggs'. No, there's no need to put yourself to any trouble at all.

Just disagree loudly and often enough and some nice policemen will come and take you to the doctors. They even carry electric zappers so you can practice EST on the way. All part of the service.

So am I worried yet? Well, I have had run-ins with practically every government department I am in any way involved with, this year. Never had a problem with them before, ever. I paid my tax on time, they lost the cheque, added interest and fined me for it. The council tax liability on my one-room rented lab has never been mentioned before. It's way below the threshold where they'll get any, and this is the first year they've tried. I sometimes see police cars parked across the street (this is a little cul-de-sac in a quiet part of a pretty dead town. Nothing much ever happens here) and when I go outside, they pull away. None of this sort of thing ever happened before last year when I rose from total obscurity to reach rhe dizzy heights of semi obscurity in the Total Politics lists. 'They' know who I am now. There's no going back.

So, again, am I worried? No, not at all. I am certain the authorities know who I am, where I live, all of it and it doesn't matter in the slightest. I am sure they are updating their records with Iain Dale's new list and even now have a fresh database of the 300 or so people most likely to be a nuisance near election time.

I don't care if the tax office decides to audit me. My accounts are very simple and the nature of my work means there are no cash transactions. It's all recorded. I have no police record of any kind and I'm not doing anything illegal. Immoral, sometimes, but never illegal. Well, as far as I know - I have no idea what all those new laws contain. My work entails me working with dangerous things but I work alone. I employ nobody and share lab space with nobody so health and safety can't get me, employment quota enforcement droids can't get me, race and religion and sex and football team discrimination morons can't get me.

I have no contact at all with children or the elderly. Especially children. Too small, too fast, too loud and too many of them.  I suggest sticky traps and baited explosives, but who listens? Nobody.

Any samples I analyse are taken by someone else and the personal details removed before I get them. I have no contact with the vulnerable or the young or the feeble of mind at all (except when the canvassers come round at election time). I belong to no organisations. There's really nothing to justify hauling me in for a bit of billy-club conversation.

Except the madness option. That's the only one that could work.

I'm still not worried. I'm far too small a fish to be worth catching. If the likes of Guido, Devil's Kitchen or Iain Dale vanish, then I might start to be concerned.

Although I think, if they ever decide to silence the blogs, they'll go for Old Holborn first.
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( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
22nd Sep, 2009 23:52 (UTC)
Yes, but you ARE a smoker. If you pass within 30 feet of one of the CHILDREENNN(!!!), you might sentence them to an early, hideously painful death from second-hand smoke (and probably second-hand drinking, too). It's not as if they haven't already warned us all about the dangers...

Having said that, I reckon that Guthrum will be the first to go. Anyone taking bets, or am I being selfish by not worrying about the potential effects on others of second-hand gambling?

Robb Farrington
23rd Sep, 2009 02:56 (UTC)
I'd forgotten Guthrum's battle with Count Mandelson. Then again, if anything hapened to Guthrum it would shine the light on the Count, and he doesn't like that.

OH has annoyed so many of them, it would be hard to point at one.

Now you mention it, there doesn't seem to be a big push to stop gambling yet. In fact, the Gorgon wanted a supercasino as I remember. Maybe it's because of the lottery - that brings in a lot more than it puts out so it would mean a serious loss of revenue.
22nd Sep, 2009 23:59 (UTC)
Oh sorry, I spilled Strongbow on my keyboard, and it's playing up ever since - that should have been one 'b' in my name.

Oh crap, I had 3 cans the other night, thus exceeding my daily quota - should I hand myself in to the nearest re-education centre, and then walk around with a sign saying "I am an evil binge drinker'?

Robbb Farrinngton

23rd Sep, 2009 02:57 (UTC)
Someone should bring out a beer called 'Binge'. With all that free advertising, they'd clean up.
23rd Sep, 2009 00:01 (UTC)
You put the case eloquently, as usual, Leg-iron.

Many thanks for the link.
23rd Sep, 2009 02:58 (UTC)
I really need to update the links section. There are many missing from it!
23rd Sep, 2009 11:39 (UTC)
Nah, it's more likely the neighbours have been taking the Terrorism Hotline's daftness seriously and have decided you are building an eeevil death ray capable of melting a hole through the heart of the earth and unleasing unimaginable geothermal power in your secret laboratory, because you don't keep hours which fit with their conception of a decent bed time.

The reason the police keep driving away is that they think it's all rubbish (or they'd have pulled you by now), but they don't want to catch anything - just in case. They've read you are a biologist.

Wave to them from the window and remember to let them see you eating things and washing your hands, although I guarantee they won't want to shake you by it. Otherwise, be kind to surveillance officers. A nice quiet shift watching somebody develop a nutritional supplement gives 'em a chance to catch up with their reading. Do NOT tease them by taking a pair of toy octopi and stitching them together, then taking it out for a walk and calling it Boris the Bacteria whilst dressed in a white lab coat with your hair fluffed up.

Eve'nin all.

Woman on a Raft
23rd Sep, 2009 20:20 (UTC)
Who told you about the death ray? Not that there is one, which there isn't, and even if there was it wouldn't be working yet because there isn't one. Yet.

I hadn't thought of the two-octopi idea. Hmmmm...
23rd Sep, 2009 14:25 (UTC)
Let's stick together
I'm not part of any organisation either. I like it that way.

As far as I'm concerned, they probably have enough on me already, what with speaking out against Stonewall. I wrote on my blog the other day that our local police consider that there is something wrong with you if you disapprove of homosexual behaviour.

What does it matter? I'm 46. They can do what they want to me, because I reached the point a couple of years ago where I realised that we are losing everything that matters in this country.

If we can use the internet better to organise things then we should be able to achieve more. Take the 1984 thing, for example. I didn't know about it until it happened.

Maybe we can make citizens' arrests on Blair and Brown and co. Time to think big??

P.S. Get a proof of posting for your important mail. What these cowards in cushy jobs don't realise is that they and theirs will also feel the pain that's inflicted by a system that hates them.

Stewart Cowan
23rd Sep, 2009 20:24 (UTC)
Re: Let's stick together
You're a Christian so you're already on the list. Higher up than me, I'll bet.

Important mail - recorded delivery every time. Especially if it's going to a Council or Tax office who might have a profitable reason to pretend it didn't arrive.
23rd Sep, 2009 22:45 (UTC)
Re: Let's stick together

Christians are terribly inconvenient for the 'authorities'. Why, we object to their plan to teach five year olds that it's their right to have an abortion when they're older. We sometimes have conversations with people of other religions - quick, call the busies and lawyers!

The scriptures say that believers will be persecuted in the end times, so it's only going to get a lot worse. When you see what authority can achieve by saying it's a health matter (smoking ban; promoting sex to children; outlawing various alternative medicines) and equality (attacking free speech; controlling religion) then we're pretty much at their mercy unless we all stand together. Cue the Frog Chorus :-)

I'm sure we will end up with forced vaccinations, forced abortions (and see how many Daily Mail readers support forced sterilisation for women from the underclass). Watch those green arrows go.

23rd Sep, 2009 23:56 (UTC)
Re: Let's stick together
Forced vaccinations, see Fausty:


Forced abortion is on the way. Assisted suicide will soon be available on approval. The Liverpool Pathway is already in use. Life means nothing to these people.

We sometimes have conversations with people of other religions - quick, call the busies and lawyers!

Already done -


It's not difficult to define any of us as 'mad'. Mad? We're bloody furious!
25th Sep, 2009 13:17 (UTC)
Re: Let's stick together

They have changed reality, so those of us living in the real reality must be, by definition according to the new reality, mad.

If everyone else started walking backwards and you cling to your belief that walking forwards is the best way to get to your destination, then you're the one who will be locked up for being a fruitcake.

It seems that this is how they are operating.
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )