December 9th, 2009


Herding cats.

Those who wish we would all live exactly the way they do can never win. Never. They can exert control for a time but it always, always fails and always will. A quick look in the newspapers confirms it: there are people who simply will not accept things the way they are, and that will never change. The Righteous might as well take up cat-herding as a hobby. You can keep your cats in one place for a while but eventually, the herd will break up.

Here's a Righteous nightmare. An American quadriplegic who wanted to go back to his favourite hobby, hunting. On the one hand, he's disabled and must be encouraged with 'you can do anything an able-bodied person can do'. Anyone who denies this must be shouted down as 'disablist' or whatever the current word is.

On the other hand, what he wants to do is take a gun (cue intake of Righteous breath) and use it to kill something furry (cue Righteous dead faint).

Well, he won. He now has a Tactical Light Armoured Wheelchair and he can aim and fire that gun himself. Nobody makes fun of his disability, you can bet on that, and I doubt he has trouble getting people to move aside when he's running his chair around the streets. He refuses to fit the niche declared by the Righteous and I think that's brilliant. And no, I care nothing for the rabbits or deer he might shoot. I'd eat them too.


Here's an odd poll. Apparently men prefer the smell of bacon to that of babies. Well, it depends how you cook them, I suppose. We're not supposed to like bacon, it gives you cancer of the left elbow or something, so it's very naughty of us to like the smell more than that of babies. On the other hand, any man who likes babies will be instantly buried under a mound of CRB forms so perhaps it's just as well we find them repellent. I don't like them. They give me indigestion.


In Russia, where they work very hard at cat-herding, a chemistry student has blown his face off with exploding chewing gum. If even the Russians can't control their loonies, what hope is there for the EU?


Hot on the heels of 'booze gives you cancer' comes the news from Germany that beer protects against prostate cancer. Those saucy Germans, eh? They aren't going to sit back and let the Righteous take their beer away.


More on smoking warnings - but the picture kills the story stone dead! I'm going to print and frame that one. As for the new 'smoking makes you unattractive' ploy, well I was unattractive before I started so that won't work on me.


The Met office claims the last decade was the warmest ever (not here, matey) where 'ever' means 'since 1850' because that part of the graph is convenient and the millions of years prior to that, including times when the planet had no ice caps at all, is not.

When the Brown Gorgon gets back from Copenhagen, he might find his support for global warming has had its usual effect. The Australian climate changers are also struggling to explain how those warmed oceans can let a massive iceberg sink their country too. Especially as it's been floating around since 2000 and nothing like it has been seen 'since the days of 19th century clipper ships'. Remember, the world has warmed continuously and considerably since then...

Meanwhile, polar bears are likely to die in the cold this winter due to global warming. I thought they'd die if we warmed the planet up, but it seems they'll die in the winter. Odd, that. Apparently they have been caught doing what all predatory species have always done - killing cubs sired by rivals - and that's suddenly due to global warming too. The rise in sightings of this cannot possibly be due to inconvenient truths such as a) there are more polar bears than there used to be and/or b) we are watching them much more closely than we used to.

Half the people of this country are now 'unbelievers' and the numbers are rising.

Oh dear, that herd of cats is starting to break up very fast now.

People are individuals. There is no 'one size fits all' approach than has ever worked and there is no approach that will ever work. I don't suppose the Righteous will ever stop trying, and they'll cause a lot of misery while they try. They'll spark periodic civil wars, too, but in the end one thing is certain.

The Righteous will always fail. Their methods ensure there can never be any other outcome, and their methods never change.

The bad news is, those failures can be very messy indeed.

Adolf the Tank Engine.

I knew the Righteous were getting more and more desperate, but really...

Thomas the Tank Engine is a Nazi mysogynist?

In other news, Andy Pandy is jailed for appearing in public in his pyjamas and for sleeping with a bear, the Woodentops get a grant to cope with their learning difficulties although Spot the dog is put down, and Windy Miller is made energy secretary.

Just when you think they've hit rock bottom, they pull out the drills and keep digging. It's going to be fascinating watching this Righteous decline. I wonder how far down they can dig - and how fast we can fill in the hole on top of them?


Oh, righhhht...

Well if you put it that way.