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Oh no you don't.

All over-40s will be invited to go for a "health MoT" from this week.

Yep. I'm over 40 and haven't seen a doctor in a long time. If something hurts and doesn't stop, I might call in and say hello but otherwise, no thanks. I don't remember the name of the last doctor I saw and I've ignored requests for me to go in for blood pressure checks because I know I have some. If you cut me, I bleed. That's working fine.

The Government says the scheme will save 650 lives a year.

Can someone remind me how many the NHS were accused of killing in a single hospital recently? I'm sure it was a bigger number so logically, shutting down the NHS would save more lives than letting the NHS meddle with more people.

People aged 40 to 74 will be offered blood pressure, weight and cholesterol checks along with lifestyle advice every five years.

Lifestyle advice? I'm tempted to lapse into Devil's Kitchen patois at this point. I don't need a weight check. I have scales in my bathroom. I can dust them off and weigh myself if it ever seems important. If I feel ill, then check my blood pressure and cholesterol (I know the GPs get paid for these tests which is why they do them to everyone) but otherwise, there's no need. But lifestyle advice?

My lifestyle is no doctor's business. There's no need to even go to the appointment because he'll say 'Don't smoke, don't drink, don't have fun because it's all bad for you' and then suggest I eat more roots and leaves. That's the advice. I've just saved you a trip.

And what about those over 74? Do we have to wait until then to smoke and drink without State interference? Or are those over 74 written off as being well past their tax-by date?

Health authorities will launch the programme on 1 April by writing letters to at-risk groups and inviting them for checks.

It's not compulsory. Yet.

More than 2 million people will be assessed each year and and then called back for check-ups every five years.
GPs already carry out checks on about 80 per cent of the age group.

What? They refer to this as a 'health MOT' you know. MOT tests are compulsory for road vehicles. How long before we have to have a certificate saying we are legally healthy? How long before employers start asking to see such certificates? How long before they are compelled to ask to see them? After all, if 80% of the age group will take the tests and therefore get certificates anyway, they aren't likely to object. It would be easy to roll it out to those of us among the 20% who prefer our personal bits unmolested.

Medical records are part of the Database of Every Little Detail. Everything your doctor finds out about you will go in there. Some of us prefer not to have our medical details pored over by the tea-boy at the council offices. Nor by hackers on the other side of the world. Those databases aren't safe.

So far, we have the option to avoid the medical database by simply refusing to visit. Now they are to start inviting us.

How long before they simply round us up?

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( 15 comments — Leave a comment )
29th Mar, 2009 20:10 (UTC)
No I won't
MOT? Many oldfuckers tax?

Send it to me. I have an industrial strength shredder. I've had to suffer government ordered compulsory medicals for the last 30 years. Amusing that it costs me £80 a time. Another quiet little revenue earner.
29th Mar, 2009 20:44 (UTC)
Compulsory MoT's for people? Won't there be some sort of online DVLA-style SORN (Statutory Off Rat-Race Notification) procedure for old farts like me who really can't be bothered joining in this Nannying nonsense any more?

Dear Doctor Tosspot, thank you for your kind invitation but if you don't mind I'm just going to sit in my armchair in my secluded greenhouse, smoking everything I carefully grow in-between the tomatoes and watching porn until I can no longer summon the energy to get up to tend to my home-brew, at which point I'll assume that I've shaken a double six. When that moment arrives the dog has strict instructions to keep on claiming my pension.

Last time I saw my doctor (about twenty years ago) he looked very wealthy but seemed to be more ill, unfit and unhappy than I was then. Hopefully he's taken my advice ...
29th Mar, 2009 22:09 (UTC)
The figure you were trying to remember LG is between 400 - 1200 at Stafford Hospital, and around 72,000 per year nationally seen off by the NHS.

Women have been hounded to attend these bogus check-ups for years as it's PC to spend millions of pounds on (unreliable)smear tests, breast screening etc. to 'save' very few lives but scare the hell out of, and give unnecessary treatment, to thousands of others. We're literally being cured to death.

Any 'invitations' coming through our letter box get binned.
30th Mar, 2009 22:49 (UTC)
cured to death... I like that, it describes the current mania of 'everything needs a drug' very accurately.

I'll stick with nicotine, alcohol and caffeine. No point getting old anyway - the Gorgon's already spent my pension.
30th Mar, 2009 01:03 (UTC)
Funny, I just spent the morning looking at different peoples attempts in the UK and some in the US of supporting scientists and doctors who advocate individuals being able to, as you are endorsing, make their own decisions about how they look after their own health or not.

And then I check up here and low and behold another push from Big Brother Pharma/Medico/Industry/Politricks to focus the minds of the pathetic masses on how they should be thinking about their health and regularly getting check ups and adding more interesting details to their data base profile because you never know when you might be dying!

Anyhow related to your article I thought some of the sites I had been visiting would be of interest and be in keeping with this line of thought esp. the slingshot publications various ebook downloads and articles.




30th Mar, 2009 07:37 (UTC)
I find this health MOT thing totally ridiculous. If I go to the Dr (once every 6 months or so) they check my blood pressure, check my cholesterol, check my alcohol consumsion and tell me off for smoking. This is part of the QoF system (i.e pay per tick). So how is this wonderful new system going to change anything. They do it all already. How the hell are they going to contact all these missing people. If they are registered and attending a Drs Surgery then these checks will already have been done. If they are not registered what can the government do about it. Force you to register. Nope. It is another load or Labour shite.I would love to know who these 'at risk' groups are. As for saving 650 lives a year, what a crock of shit. No doubt this 'health drive' will have cost ?illion to produce. Had that ?illion been invested directly into the NHS I am sure it would have been useful to a lot more than 650 invisible, non existing people. Labourwankanda at it's very, very best.
Mummy x
30th Mar, 2009 22:54 (UTC)
I'm considering going along when they invite me. We have a strange food here called 'butteries' which are lard disguised as bread and one of them can send your cholesterol off the scale for a few hours. So I'll have three before I go. I'll rack up on salt to push the blood pressure up and have a glass of a nice peaty malt so the whisky smell will be all around me. And a cigar to add to the general aura.

Then I'll demand to know why I'm still alive when all the government ads say I should be dead. Who can I sue for lying to me?
30th Mar, 2009 11:14 (UTC)
"People aged 40 to 74 will be offered blood pressure, weight and cholesterol checks along with lifestyle advice every five years."

My 80 something parents regularly get summoned for checks, and ticked off by the nurse (who can best be described as "Barrel Shaped"!) because their cholesterol levels are a tiny bit over the advisory limit! And father has been diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, which probably wouldn't even have been noticed, if he wasn't tested. But as you have mentioned the surgery gets a "tick" & more money for doing this.

Yet when I go in to complain that my osteo-arthritic hip is becoming a restriction to everyday life, I get fobbed off with excuses, and told it's better to keep taking painkillers, rather than doing anything to stop the cause. I know joint replacement is a fairly serious procedure, however I would, at least, like to have an appointment with a consultant. Of course it turns out that the health authority encourages the doctors to try and avoid referrals....

30th Mar, 2009 20:52 (UTC)
I developed a small sugar problem, years hoering round the World, drinking in all the places one should not. Maybe one day I'll write a book but it would be so unbelievable that it would be filed in the fiction section.

The point is I became friendly with my Doctor, who lived in the same village and drank in the same pub, occasionally anyway.

He took me under his wing, got me on cholesterol busters and blood pressure reducers before anyone else, because he was a genuine guy, really interested in me as a human being as well as a patient.

He wanted to be sure I would be in a good state when I was 70. I told him I hadn't expected to see in the Millenium, so every day was a bonus.


He was a real outdoor type and did mountain and loch rescue work.

I took up exercising and became relatively, for my age, fit.

He took a massive heart attack and died in the shower one morning after he had been playing squash the night before. He was 6 years younger than me.

I went back to my old ways and have drunk some smashing wine and done some other tings that I should tell.

If you don't drink, don't smoke and don't keep the company of bad women, you may not live to be 100 but, it will seem like it.

I'm off to pop an oaky Rioja.

1st Apr, 2009 21:58 (UTC)
Well, no tobacco, no booze, no salt or fat and you'll live longer, they say.

But... why? It's just more time to be bored.
30th Mar, 2009 21:28 (UTC)
Calling it, even jokingly, an MOT does seem to have some interesting connotations. Of course didn't we see the other month a proposal for drivers to be given medicals every 10 years. And not for free either.

Does this tie nicely into the opt-out system for organ donors?

Don't want to play? Then Nanny may just as well fine and/or imprison your wrinkly behind...
30th Mar, 2009 22:46 (UTC)
Any Orwellian autheor would have a field day with this plot:

Coerce the population into not smoking, not drinking, staying slim and healthy and having regular checkups so the health and fitness of every individual is recorded.

Surveillance systems and ID cards tell you where each individual is located at any time.

The law allows individuals to be arrested without charge, guilt is presumed, and autopsies are secret. So when the arrested falls down the stairs, there's no comeback.

Record everyone's DNA.

Then, when a rich man needs a body part, it's a simple matter to find and retrieve a matched part.

A whole country effectively farmed for body parts, and nobody in that country realises it's being done. If there are any authors out there, maybe they could work with that?
31st Mar, 2009 17:25 (UTC)
You're rambling like a mad man here. Obviously a terrorist trying to bring down the system ;)


Our gumment would never do that, would they?
1st Apr, 2009 21:56 (UTC)
When they come for me, I'll argue that there's no need to bring down a system that's falling apart on its own. I didn't do it, it was the Gorgon.

I still think it would make a good book though. One for the Westminster collection. 646 guaranteed sales.
2nd Apr, 2009 02:25 (UTC)
bad health, some bloke
"The Government says the scheme will save 650 lives a year." No it won't, at best it will merely delay the deaths of some ill people.
This whole scam is part of the governments insane drive to promote statins which the medical community are being bribed to endorse.

I am obliged by my employer to take a medical every three years. My G.P. glances to check that I still have four functioning limbs before we have a little chat about the weather.
He has done this since I politely told him that I will not be lectured to by a representative of an administration ( him ) that has facilitated and profited from my addiction for forty years, acting not unlike a crack dealer and a pimp.

Not bothered about the organ harvesting plot, after all the fags, booze and other abuse that I have inflicted upon myself I doubt if anyone would want my bits anyway.

( 15 comments — Leave a comment )