Well, Sunday brings a fresh round of stories that our good and gentle MP's will dismiss as the ravings of a vociferous minority of sixty million malcontents. As Tom Harris says in his witty and concise summing up of the first 1984 incident, they will agree to disagree. Whether we agree to that or not. If you have concerns about this country, you might as well tell your fridge. It will pay more attention than any politician and do just as much about it. They have nothing to say to us. Ed Balls's famous 'so what' told us all we ever needed to know.

So many stories to choose from. I'll pick just one for now until the last four pints of caffeine kick in.

Via the Libertarian Alliance, I see that councils are deleting more words from the English language to prevent us thinking too hard in case we hurt our poor little heads. Mine hurts already, not through thinking but through overindulgence in something that rhymes with thinking. I believe a little light exercise might get the grey matter fired up once more.

When the Plain English campaign started, it sounded like a great idea. It would stop all those idiotic phrases like 'whole new paradigm' popping up and prevent those oafs who infest meetings from spouting that lunatic gabble designed to make them sound clever while saying nothing. Like all such groups, it was eventually taken over by Righteous and there is no longer any sense in what they want.

Deleting words from the language, restricting what people can and cannot say, is a central tenet of the world described by Orwell in 1984. It is an essential component in controlling the population. Yet our elected leaders don't see the connection. They use phrases like this:

In instructions to staff, the council said: "Not everyone knows Latin. Many readers do not have English as their first language so using Latin can be particularly difficult."

I don't speak Latin. I speak English. I use English words like pyjamas, curry, pizza, espresso, kebab, and even et cetera at the end of non-exhaustive lists like that one. The whole language is a mish-mash. Always has been. We use words from everywhere. If you pare it back to only the original Anglo-Saxon we'd have nothing to say and no way to say it - because most of the original Anglo-Saxon words have fallen out of use. Perhaps that's the idea?

Dr Peter Jones, co-founder of the charity Friends of Classics said "This sort of thing sends out the message that language is about nothing more than the communication of very basic information in the manner of a railway timetable.

He is right. That is what the Righteous want. Basic communication only. No ideas, no innovation, no independent thinking because then irrational thoughts about mad things like 'liberty', 'freedom' and 'justice' take root in the proles' minds and that can only lead to problems.

However, the Plain English Campaign has congratulated the councils for introducing the bans.

They are Righteous. They love bans. They no longer campaign for plain English. They campaign for Righteousness. Here's one of them now:

Marie Clair, its spokesman, said: "If you look at the diversity of all our communities you have got people for whom English is a second language. They might mistake eg for egg and little things like that can confuse people.

Are you listening, immigrants? Miss Clair is saying you are too stupid to understand her language and it has to be simplified for you. She thinks you can't tell the difference between 'eg' and 'egg' even though those would be clearly very different when used in a letter. She does not want you to learn English, she wants you to learn a sanitised version so you will not be able to communicate effectively with your neighbours who do speak English.

"At the same time it is important to remember that the national literacy level is about 12 years old and the vast majority of people hardly ever use these terms.

Are you listening, indigenous people? Miss Clair says you're stupid too. She doesn't think you can understand your own language so she has to simplify it for you. You are only as smart as a twelve-year-old, and we all know what our education system has done to the average twelve-year-old's ability to communicate. Could there be a connection in there somewhere? I leave it to you to decide.

"It is far better to use words people understand. Often people in power are using the words because they want to feel self important. It is not right that voters should suffer because of some official's ego."

Wait - did she say 'ego'? That's a Latin word. One of those that 'people in power' use to make themselves feel self important. Tut-tut, Miss Clair. Does this ban not apply to you? They never do, funnily enough.

The last line there bears repeating.

It is not right that voters should suffer because of some official's ego.

Voters, Miss Clair? Who voted for you? Who voted for your organisation? Aren't you a non-political organisation? Well, of course you're not. You are funded from taxes and to keep that gravy train going, you need to pop up once in a while and ban something. You are also advancing the cause of Newspeak bit by bit and you know what? I don't think you even know you're doing it. Just like Tom Harris, your doublethink programming means you can deny the existence of what is right before your eyes.

If the average intelligence of this country is twelve, Miss Clair, I bet it goes up to fourteen when you take a holiday abroad.

The copies of 1984 will arrive in earnest next week. Let's just hope someone among those 646 sees the connection. We already know of one who won't.