I consider myself British even though I am a mongrel. Some Italian, some Welsh, a bit of English, and only the birth record people know what else. I'm made of more bits than Frankenstein's monster and I bet that if you analysed my DNA to see where I came from, the best answer you'll get is 'Earth, probably'. I am Multiracial Man! I am not multicultural man because I'm British and that's how I like to live. I have no interest in riding around on a moped, stealing handbags and saying 'Ciao'. I am not Catholic, indeed I have no religion at all. I don't like the greasy seaweed called Lava Bread (if you get the chance to try it, don't). I like pasta and espresso and red wine and proper Scottish whisky and the ability to have a flag with a big dragon on it as well as a Union flag or even an Italian flag even though it's a bit dull by comparison. I like black pudding and I like fish and chips. I like curries and I like Chinese food but I'm not interested in the religion, culture or language that produced those things. That does not mean I am against Christianity or Islam or Buddhism or whatever else is left once I've picked the good bits out of each culture. I'm simply not interested. I'm a multicultural vulture, I pick the bits I like and leave the rest. Is that bad? The bits I don't want don't die. The bits I take aren't gone. Someone else can still take on the whole thing if they want.

Now I live in Scotland as an immigrant from pretty much everywhere else. So I can't rail against immigrants solely on the basis of the act of immigrating. They might be relatives. I can, and do, rail against those who come here with the sole intention of sponging off the state or with criminal or terrorist intent. Relative or no, send them home. My immediate family contains at least one member Of Whom We Do Not Speak so any distantly related parasites and criminals can get stuffed too.

Unfortunately I speak no Italian. That disappeared from the family because of intermarriage with the locals. It would be unreasonable to expect the English-speaking half of the marriage to learn Italian in the UK, just as it would be unreasonable to expect the Italian half of a mixed marriage in Italy to learn the other language. Learn the language of the place you live in. It's not racist, it's common sense. If I moved to Germany, speaking no German, I wouldn't be able to find anything and couldn't even ask for directions. If I were to move there, I'd learn German.

So the family now speaks no Italian. I don't speak Welsh either, despite having a grandmother who, alone, was sufficient justification for printing a big red dragon on the flag as a warning to visitors. She would blast forth tirades in Welsh and/or English that would melt the ears of a modern politically-correct Righteous. You didn't say 'no' to her. She had no truck with the idea of 'reasoning with children' but she had a mean left hook. It was only used sparingly, and we'd need to do something really, really bad to experience it. Most of the time we were spoiled rotten but we had limits and knew exactly where the line was. But I digress. I'll digress a bit more too. When my brother and I were very small, our grandmother launched into a really impressive tirade about something or other in Welsh, aimed at our mother who responded with 'Not in front of the children!'  That was forty-odd years ago and to this day we don't know what she said but you can bet we'd still like to.

I cannot recall ever being offended when my grandmother spoke to her friends in Welsh. Usually they were talking about 'chapel people' (catholics) as if they were a different species, or about someone from a different pensioner gang, so they weren't talking about anything I wanted to hear. Besides, it's not polite to listen in to other people's conversations. People used to learn that as children, in the old days when children were allowed to learn actually useful things.

I visit Chinese restaurants or Indian restaurants or shops run by immigrants and I don't recall ever being offended at all if they spoke to each other in their own languages. When they spoke to me, they spoke English. I'd place an order in a Chinese retaurant, the guy would write it down in Chinese and shout in Chinese at someone in the back. Maybe what he wrote was 'Fry up the cat for this one, its just  a paleface who won't know the difference'. Maybe what he shouted was 'Idiot westerner with no taste buds in the shop. Don't use the expensive spices.' I've no idea. Because I didn't understand it, it was not possible to take offence so I didn't even consider it.

I know some are upset when a couple of people talk in another language on the bus, and their usual reason is 'I don't know what they're saying. They might be talking about me'. Well, it seems to me that to imagine someone from another country comes all the way here just to sit behind you on the bus and discuss you is just about as egocentric as it gets. I don't know what they're saying either but I bet it's nothing to do with me or anyone else on the bus.

The funniest pair I've seen are Chinese. They get on, one sits at the back, the other at the front, they are talking on their mobiles when they get on and still talking on them when they get off, nearly an hour later. In Chinese. This wasn't a one-off, I've seen them often and it's always the same. The only thing I'm wondering is - are they talking to each other on the phone?

In Wales, people speaking Welsh in public are told they are being rude because nobody can understand them. In Scotland it mostly happens to Polish people these days. Well, if they're not speaking to you, you shouldn't be listening in anyway so why does it matter what language they speak? If they want to talk to a native, then yes, they should do it in English. I'm not going to learn every language in the world just to get by in this country. If I had to do that, I'd move to France where I'd only be expected to learn French. Like everyone else who lives there. If you move to France and don't learn French, you're in the merde. They will not accomodate you.

When immigrants have kids, those kids will learn English or they'll fail at school and never get a job. English must be their first language if they are to survive here and any parent or any Righteous who disagrees is putting those children at a serious disadvantage. The first generation will learn at least some of their parent's language too because their parents will probably use it at home all the time. The next generation will learn English and a smattering of the original immigrant language. By the third generation (without Righteous interference) the old language is gone and the kids speak English. Note to Righteous - this is a Good Thing, not a Bad Thing. Read up on the Tower of Babel and see how that worked out. When everyone within a country speaks the same language, misunderstandings are rare. When they all speak different languages, misunderstandings happen all the time, people get offended and angry, and fights break out.

Where the Righteous insist on their Babel-like multiculturalism, integration becomes impossible. Immigrants don't learn English, or British ways, because the Righteous make sure they don't have to. Learning new things is hard work. If someone constantly shields you from that hard work, you have no incentive to put the effort in. Especially if everyone from your country moves to the same town. Consider what would happen to such a place without the Righteous. They would not be able to deal with banks, untilities, travel, post, anything until they learned some English. Those who learned first would become more confident and wouldn't need to stay in the isolated enclave. Gradually, the enclave would fall apart and integrate. Those few who refused to have anything to do with English language or ways would become more and more isolated until they either integrate or give up and leave.

It sounds harsh but it's not. It's called integration and it keeps a country safe and stable. If I move to France, I have the choice to learn the language and accept that they do things differently over there, or I can decide I don't like it and leave. If I demand that the French change their ways to suit me, they will slap me around a bit and then send me back over the Channel by the fastest and cheapest route available. Not one of our Righteous would object to that at all. If I say the same thing applies to Armenians or Poles or Arabs or Israelis or Somalians when they move to this country, the Righteous go purple in the face and scream 'Racist!' They cannot see the doublethink they practice.

The language of France is French. The language of Germany is German. The language of Spain is Spanish. The language of this country is English. Mostly. In some parts of Wales you will not get a job teaching, even if it's maths, unless you speak Welsh. That is weird, maths is hard enough in English. It must be mind-blowing in Welsh. I wonder if they teach Paiddaggoras's theorem? It is, however, Wales and if they want to speak Welsh there, they should be at liberty to do so. If I go into a shop and they won't speak to me in English, I won't buy anything. I'll go to another shop. If they don't want my money they are not obliged to take it. It's their business. If those same people come to Scotland and try to get served in Welsh, they will starve. Again, not one peep will you hear from the Righteous about that. Say it again but replace Welsh with Punjabi and their heads will explode in fury.

The Righteous are the problem. If you move to another country, the very first thing you need to do - ideally, you should start before you arrive there - is learn the language of that country. This place is a country. The Righteous think we have to accept that immigrants don't speak English and learn forty languages each just to go to the shops. Failure to do so is racist. Asking for the basic courtesy of learning the language of your adopted country is racist. Requesting that any immigrant coming here abide by exactly the same rules applied by every other country in the world - that's racist here, but not in any other country. Don't try to get into the Righteous mind. Just try to imagine a panel that is simultaneously red and blue with no colour mixing and no switching. Righteous doublethink is far more difficult than that. I'm sure it must require strong drugs and surgery.

There is no problem with people being able to speak another language. It's actually a very useful ability. One of the languages you speak must be the principal language of the country you live in or you will have serious problems communicating. If you meet someone from your own country, the easiest mode of communication is the language that is most easily understood by both. In my hypothetical move to France, if I were to meet a Brit, I would not insist on speaking French to them. I'd speak English, even if we both knew French. If I was with someone French (ideally a can-can dancer but that's another subject entirely) I would, out of courtesy, speak French or at least translate what was going on.

So if you move to the UK, learn English. Don't let the Righteous translate everything for you because the reason they do that is not for your benefit, but theirs.They want to keep you dependent on them. They don't want you to integrate. The reason they want you to hold on to another country's way of life is the same. They want to keep you dependent on them. They will not let you be British because you are a weapon to them. You are their divisive blade and you will be used against the indigenous until the Righteous have no more use for you, or find they can no longer afford to keep you, and then you will be cast adrift in a country where you don't speak the language and don't understand the ways of the people. By then, of course, most of the people will have been turned against you by the Righteous, just as you have been turned against them.

The Righteous will argue that we are a nation of immigrants, that since the human race started in Africa, we are all immigrants and so on. Well, okay, but that was a long time ago. Since then we have developed national identities where like-minded individuals choose to live together in one place. In this particular group called the UK, we don't eat horse or dog. If those are your culinary preferences, other countries are available to you where they like those things. We are allowed one wife/husband each, marriages are not arranged or forced, close relatives are not allowed to breed (we tried that once and ended up with socialism), pigs are a valid food source and cows are not sacred.

On the other hand, if you don't want to eat pork we won't force you. If you want to buy a cow and worship it, you can do that here. We don't care because personal preferences like those don't affect anyone else. Where they do affect others, our laws take precedence.

You cannot have multiple wives. It is against our laws. If you can persuade a whole batch of women to move in with you at the same time, well I'm impressed but only one of them can be legally defined as 'wife'. You cannot kill your children for being a bit of an embarrassment. If we allowed that here we'd have no children at all. There are countries where those things are legal. This is not one of them. No matter what the Righteous tell you, some parts of some cultures are simply not legal here and we don't want them to be legal. We do not cut people's heads off nor do we put them in a hole and beat them to death with stones. Some people are not happy about others who prefer to be homosexual rather than heterosexual, but we do not hang people just for being gay. Religions don't like it. Secularism doesn't care. Secularism is the way we do things here. If we wanted to kill people for things we don't regard as crimes we'd move to a country where it's done. We prefer to live where it is not done.

Yes, we are all immigrants, as are the people of every other country on the planet. The point is, we have now settled into groups called countries who live together, share a common language and a common way of doing things, overall. Here, we tolerate all kinds of different ways of doing things as long as those different ways don't affect anyone else. You prefer to have a religion, or not? Either way is fine. You want to go to synagogue, church, mosque? No problem. Do what you like. You think eating meat is wrong? No problem. Don't eat it. You like to beat yourself with a bunch of hickory twigs every morning at sunrise? Go for it. We'll watch and we'll laugh but we won't stop you. Beat someone else and you cross the line.

Immigration is not equivalent to racism unless the Righteous make it so by forcing those immigrants into enclaves and preventing them from integrating. As far as I am concerned, anyone who comes here because they want to live the way we live is welcome. We have a way of life and a common language which we use to communicate. Moving here while rejecting those things is just stupid. This is a tiny part of the planet. There is a lot more of it and whatever manner of life you want to live, there's a place that lives that way. Find the one that suits you and live there. Here, on this rain-soaked lump of soil just off the edge of Europe, is where the world's miserable gits gather to complain about things in a climate that just invites complaints. It's wet and cold most of the time and we like it like that. It gives us something to moan about. When the sun comes out and it gets hot, we moan about that too. We eat food that would instantly clog the arteries of many other people on the planet. We like it. We import recipes and other cultural bits from other places and grumble about them. It's what we do here.

The British complain about things but don't generally take action. The French rage in the streets, the British write furious letter to the Times. Taking to the streets in protest, well, it's all a bit Continental, isn't it? It's not British. So when the British start doing that it's time to take stock. It means they are no longer content to shout at the TV. The anger has grown too strong for that. The anger is not against immigration and it is not against race. It is against those who want to change the way of life here. The British, overall, don't care what colour you are, what religion you follow, who you want to sleep with or what clothes you choose to wear. Oh, we'll moan about it but we won't send you to prison for it. The British only care about the British way of life. A way of life which is being stolen away, bit by bit, and that is being blamed on immigrants. We used to defuse the tension caused by differences by making jokes about it, but that is not allowed now. The tension just builds.

Those who set off suicide bombs on tube trains and a bus were British born and raised. Why had they not begun to integrate? Because the Righteous would not let them. The Righteous cry 'racist' at every white face they see and encourage a sense of victimhood and entitlement in their pets. They inist on perpetuating differences that should have faded with time. They delight in causing conflict between races because they can blame it all on the immigrants and just watch the fireworks from the sidelines. The Righteous never even show their faces. Their pets must not learn English, or the ways of the country, they must be encouraged to demand that the country change for them, not the other way round. Then the Righteous can ban Christmas and blame the immigrants while demanding that schools all celebrate Diwali and blame the immigrants. It's very selective, too. We must respect Ramadan but we can ignore Yom Kippur. We must celebrate Diwali but we can ignore the Solstices. Only those the Righteous have made dependent are favoured.

The Righteous outlook on life makes no sense. They can see only one way to live and anyone who doesn't live that way is wrong. At the same time, they see immigrants as pets to be kept in dependency and their every whim must be encouiraged and adopted by everyone except the Righteous themselves. They seem to think that integration means a loss of identity for their pets. I'm sure they think that integrating will turn them all racist.

You don't have to lose your identity by integrating. Another aspect of that hypothetical move to France is that there, I would still have roast beef and Yorkshire pudding sometimes. I would still read books in English as well as in French. I'm not going to forget the English language if I learn French. I'm not going to develop a sudden craving for garlic-soaked snails. I would still avoid eating horse. I would speak French and abide by French laws but I would still be me. Likewise, learning English and abiding by British law does not make a Somalian any different to what he or she was in Somalia. They do not morph into top-hatted what-ho types with monocles and handlebar moustaches just because they have learned another language and a new set of rules. There is no reason to forget their original language nor is there any reason to pretend they don't remember it. They can still converse with each other in Somalian but they must not expect their host country to care. They are not required to change their religion or beliefs, but they are required to drop the parts that conflict with UK law. They don't have to like that. There are other countries.

Finally, I come to the end of this wild and rambling post. It's developed piecemeal while I've been working so I hope it's reasonably joined-up.

And now, I expect to be called both 'racist' and 'immigrant-appeaser' at the same time. I am neither. I care nothing for race, only for individual attitude. As far as I am concerned, anyone who wants to come here and live the British way should be welcomed. Anyone who wants us to change to suit their way of doing things, or wants to simply sponge benefits, can get the hell out. I am convinced that the biggest enemy to the British way of life are the Righteous who encourage the feckless and the violent to come here and then protect them from criticism and encourage them to be even more feckless and violent because 'it's their culture'. Well, it's not ours.

If they want to live in a feckless, violent culture that mutilates women, stones people, hangs them, hacks off limbs and heads, kills children for wanting to be different, then that's up to them, but they can do it somewhere else.

If they want to live the British way, they can do it here. No matter where they came from.