Brighton has been overrun with zombies who are tearing the brains from people's heads and eating them. The Labour party conference has been unaffected. Apparently a few zombies went inside, sniffed the air and left. One or two gave speeches.

The Brown Gorgon wants to solve the problem of single mothers getting free accomodation by giving them free accomodation. With staff. Sounds rather like a step up to me. Instead of slaving over a hot microwave for three minutes, they'll have servants to show them which button to press. Welcome to the Harlot's Hotel. It's free, courtesy of the never-ending money that the tax office generates. If only we could do the same. (Others have dubbed these places 'Gulags for Slags' and 'Huts for Sluts'. There'll be more names coming.)

Of course it won't be all soft elevator music and deep pile carpets. It'll be more like the old poorhouses where the teenage baby machines and their newly-popped sprogs can be indoctrinated cost-effectively, all together. There will be lessons on parenting the Righteous way, ie. no discipline and all the sweets they can eat, so that photographs of caries-blackened juvenile teeth can be used on cigarette packets to terrorise the smokers. Meanwhile all the so-far-uncaught child molesters whose CRB checks are clear will be queueing up for jobs as warders, while those who once tried to discipline a child by raising their voice and sounding a tad miffed will be turned away.

The odd part is, this new persecution of single mothers is pure BNP policy. No wonder Labour have done so much to publicise the BNP. Apart from policy on immigration and the EU, they are the same party. Labour don't have the guts to get out of the EU and they are too terrified of the Righteous to do anything at all about immigration so what do they do? Promote a party that will do those things and which will also implement all those Socialist policies that Labour used to have before their balls dropped off.

Does it seem odd that Labour have turned on one of their previously favourite groups? I wondered about that too, but Mummylonglegs has an answer.  

Meanwhile, Goebbels, masquerading behind an Alan Johnson mask, has declared that men accused of domestic violence will be banned not just from their homes but from their entire neighbourhood. Well, good, you might say, and at first glance it does sound good. Look a little closer and you'll notice that he talks only about banning men who indulge in a little wench-battering. Not women who batter their husbands. Now I'm not sure whether it was Goebbels or Hideous Harman behind the mask. I'm not sure which would be worse.

Look closer still and...

Under the present law, only those arrested and charged with an offence can be barred - either through bail conditions or by the victim seeking an order in the civil courts.

That's how our laws used to work. Unless you were charged with something, the police left you alone. At least until they had some evidence that you'd really done something.

In future, officers who did not have enough evidence to charge a suspect but believed a woman remained in danger would be able to seek a DVPO - citing evidence from neighbours, family and friends and any history of abuse.

These days, of course, it's no longer necessary to be charged with anything to be convicted. All it takes is an accusation and you're done. So don't get into an argument with the wife, don't mention divorce, and if she wants one, well, all she needs to do is whack herself with a door and call the police. You're out of the house the same day and if you work nearby, tough. You can't go there either. All without troubling the justice system at all, and without anyone having to go to the trouble of filling out a charge sheet. In case you're thinking there might not be enough busybodies to enforce what the hell they feel like when they feel like it and to assume guilt on the basis of accusation, don't worry. 'Refuge' are already asking for more money and staff.

I'm sure all women, everywhere, are so pure of heart that none will ever bring a false accusation after a row, nor will any woman use this to speed a divorce and get hubby out so she can get boyfriend in (while hubby continues to pay) and there exist no manipulative women who will use the threat of an accusation to keep hubby firmly under the thumb. No, no, that would never happen, just like no woman would ever bring a false accusation of rape and no child would ever bring an unfounded accusation under the child protection laws. It doesn't matter anyway. Nobody is innocent any more, it's just a matter of working out which law to punish you with.

All of this is to support hard working families. By ensuring that every man in the country will think twice about buying those engagement rings. Why not just knock up some girl from the estates instead? If she gets pregnant, no problem, the State will take care of her for you. Sound brutal? Well, that's the kind of Britain Labour wants for you. A Britain where you cannot trust your children or your wife or your husband and as for the neighbours, well, best keep the curtains closed. I wonder who the Gorgon will claim to be working for when the last working family has been eradicated?

Alan Johnson's speech included some impressive comedic lines:

He said: "I am enormously proud of our record over the last 12 years. In education, in health, tackling discrimination, establishing basic rights for working people, making our society safer, healthier and fairer.

He said it with a straight face too. In fact, he did a long and side-splitting comedy routine without cracking so much as a grin. Impressive.
At least it would be, if he had been joking.

Labour know they can't win. They're not even trying any more. All we can expect from them now is disaster after disaster, harsher control and as much damage as they can do before they are booted out. It's all about spite. We aren't going to vote for them, we aren't going to put up with their troughing, we aren't going to let them lord it over us and so they are going to punish the entire country for their failures.

Spite. It's all Labour have left.