I run a lab on a shoestring. I've just built a 30C incubator out of a large polystyrene box someone sent samples in, and a heat mat and controller designed for a vivarium for reptiles. Cost about thirty quid, and the thermometer cost a fiver. To buy a purpose-built incubator would have cost me a couple of thousand. I use a lot of plastic tubing which I buy at a local model shop, far cheaper than anything in the lab catalogues. I recycled an old piece of floorboard into the base for a stirring mechanism and the corner of a window frame into a motor mount for another. I re-use little glass bottles and anything else I can get. I've even rummaged in the junk piles of other labs and taken away stuff they didn't want because it was a bit rusty. Some emery and a dash of Hammerite and it looks new.

Water bath? A plastic box from Tesco for £1.50 and a fishtank heater left over from when I used to keep tropical fish. Lab catalogue cost... £500+. My cost, £1.50 and a bit of a rummage.

I love recycling. So I have no objection to putting glass, tins and plastic in a separate box. If, as usually happens, the box gets a bit full of bottles, no problem. Every supermarket has a whole row of big bins and I have to go there anyway for food. So I take a bag, preferably of plastic bottles because a) they don't weigh much and b) the bin for those has a big opening you can empty the bag into, rather than the hairy holes you have to push glass or tins through one at a time in some twisted sexual fantasy way. It's no problem.

Then I find I've gone to all this trouble only to have the whole lot dumped in a Chinese landfill where Chinese poor people risk their health and their bodies to re-sort the stuff I've already sorted in case I accidentally threw away something useful.

What a complete and total waste of time. If it can't really be usefully recycled, say so. Green glass, I know, gets ground up and used in road surfacing. Clear glass can be easily re-used. But plastic bottles aren't so easy to reuse. But they could be. Just melt them into blocks and use them as lifetime-guarantee garden bricks. I'm going to do that myself. Lightweight bricks that won't degrade are ideal for putting under steps and building low walls. I'm making a couple of moulds to put either side of my chimenea. I don't care what the blocks look like because they'll be plastered over but a serious business could add colour and even texture, with no great effort. It wouldn't be that hard, with a little application of the mind, to make them look just like bricks. And they won't crumble with age.

Tip: If, like me, you aren't too good at moving heavy things and not very keen on trying, get an aluminium chimenea. Just don't touch it for a long time after it's been fired up.

Paper is building up in piles because it's not economically viable to recycle it into new paper. So shred it and compost it. I do that with credit card bills and the like. Shred it, put it in the compost and pour water on it. Go on, criminals, pick the identity out of that. Or recycle it into firelighters. Or use it to fire up the chimenea  Or use it to fire up a power station. It's recently come from trees so you can claim 'carbon neutral' but even so, you'd better arm the train drivers and guards because the loonies will still come out every full moon and get in the way.

No, it all goes off to destroy the health of seriously poor people. Real ones, not ones wearing Nikes and carrying iPods and bloated on burgers. Real, thin, shoeless people whose experience of music consists of banging on discarded Teflon pans because the Teflon has worn off and that means it takes effort to clean them, so out they go.

We are putting a lot of effort into getting waste ready for recycling and we are betrayed. We think we are doing something good and noble but it's a waste of our time and it's damaging to the health of real poor people. The Gorgon and his nose-goblins crow about how they have reduced poverty in the UK and it's worse than just plain bollocks. It's a snide and downright evil swipe at the real poor. All they have done is give more money to their pets. Those on the street have no vote because they have no fixed abode to send the voting card to. They are ignored.

Even then, those on the street are not as badly off as the death's door poor who are sorting the rubbish we have already so piously sorted. Those on British streets can, should they be willing to relinquish their last shred of self-respect, beg. Or if they have no wish for independent life at all, they can give themselves up to the Righteous and become pets. The rubbish-sorters cannot beg because there is nobody to beg from. They cannot give in to the Righteous because the Righteous already own them. These poor have nowhere left to go.

I'd really like to recycle. It's in my genes. I don't like waste. But this travesty of recycling is not what I had in mind. What we have is fortnightly real-bin collections because it fits EU diktat. We can't have too much landfill here because of EU diktat. It's not being solved by recycling. It's being solved by a pretend recycling that simply puts the landfill somewhere else. Using big ships to move it and big cranes and big lorries to the extent that we'd actually be better off - financially as well as environmentally - if it all stayed here.

When I was a kid, most bottles would get you a penny back when you took them back to the shop empty. We used to collect them up and get enough for some sweets. The companies paid to get the bottles back so you can bet they were re-used. Milk came in glass bottles and the milkman picked up the empties. They were washed and refilled. Vegetables came in paper bags, you bought as much as you needed, not the amount dictated by the pack size. There were no plastic prepacks. Bread had no packaging at all and wasn't pre-sliced. Meat came in greaseproof paper wrapped in, often, newspaper. Chips from the chip shop had one layer of clean paper and were then wrapped with newspaper to keep them hot. No boxes, no plastic trays. Everything was recycled.

Why did it all stop?

Because of the same Righteous who insist we waste too much.

You can't have newspaper around your chips because it's unhygienic. Who became sick as a result of that? Nobody. Your vegetables must be vaccuum wrapped because it's unhygienic otherwise. Who died of cucumber or tomato poisoning? Nobody. Re-using milk bottles risks transmissible disease. Evidence? None.

Create the problem. Exaggerate the problem. Give the solution and you have control. All this packaging, all the non-re-usable stuff, was put in place by the Righteous. To solve probems that weren't there. To gain control.

Now they use the packaging that they created to blame us for producing too much waste. Another browbeating, more control.

So we have to 'recycle'. But they don't know how to deal with it so they ship it off to Chinese landfill. Then they get their hysterical drones to attack power stations and re-enact Ronnie Biggs' escapades to distract our attention from it.

Every Green out there has been taken for a sucker. Recycling used to happen all the time. Your sort stopped it.

Greens, consider. It was your own controllers who put a stop to it. You are being used to slap down people who are doing what your masters decreed.

Suckers.